I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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