i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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