I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize