Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
