i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
