better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
