I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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