So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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