Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
