He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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