guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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