Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
