Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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