i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
