Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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