tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
