My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize