Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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