I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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