He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
