you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
