Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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