Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
