whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize