Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So vagazzling was a success
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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