so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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