hotel room ftw
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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