it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
