WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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