they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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