I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
