There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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