someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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