seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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