god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ruined the universe
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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