i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
