Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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