man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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