Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
