i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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