He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
