I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
