There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
