Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
