I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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