You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize