i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize