Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
