How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
