I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
