ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
