your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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