i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
