Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
