i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
