I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize