Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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