that's an acceptable place to lick
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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