Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
