You can't special order awesome
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
