let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
