there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
