Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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